Frenemies
by SarahZorEl
Summary: A twist on 3x15-17 aka What if J'onn is more powerful than we originally thought and he accidentally projects his lust and wanting for M'gann onto the rest of the Supergang... [The Weirdest Ship Fest Eva]
1. Chapter 1

It all started out rather small... a rowdy night at the alien bar for Alex, some _extra_ 'me time' in the shower for Kara... nothing _too_ noticeable.

That was _until_... tensions started rising, everyone at the DEO was flustered- argumentative- _highly sprung._ Winn and Donovan got into a petty spat about 'nothing much' and had to be _physically_ torn apart by one mean, green fighting machine Agent Danvers.

Then it was Kara who purposefully tried to _hit_ Mon-El in the training room... _just because she could._

It wasn't until Reign attacked however that Kara realised something _weird_ was going on...

Like usual they stood face to face taunting each other, flexing Kryptonian muscles and playing hardball.

Throwing punches it got harder and harder to ignore... Alex was just stood staring on the sidelines enraptured by what was going on... She wasn't helping, _no_ not at all... far too busy drinking tea and calling out all of Samantha's physically sound and _seductive_ attributes.

It lead to Kara scowling in between moves at Alex being forlorn... _what has gotten into her?!_

The kicker however was when Alex had obviously thought _enough was enough_ deciding that she'd be completely safe and fine to just... _step out_ in front of the two alien foes holding up _breakable_ hands in warning.

Halting... both super powered beings turned, one looking rather worried and awash with confusion and the other... _utterly star struck._

Turns out... that plastering a sloppy wet kiss onto the face of your nemesis is a great way to solve the rapture...

Kara on the other hand was just stood blinking owlishly looking between Alex and Reign thinking _what the fuck?!_

Once separated Alex began preening and swooning, fluttering her eyelashes and allowing herself to lead by the hand by _Reign_ to a nearby Motel 6, waving cheekily to Kara like she was perfectly happy that she was about to get a bone crunching s _exual_ massage.

... FROM REIGN!

* * *

Meanwhile in the DEO they'd happened upon pestilence _by accident,_ leading to a whining Winn _crying to James_ on a hospital bed. Consoling each other James leaning over... well that was enough to give _Winn_ a boner.

White blanket rising... James's hands twitching... fingers brushing _slowly_ lower.

On the legion ship... Imra and Mon-El were arguing because he'd just walked on her _sucking off_ brainy...

 _His wife and his best friend..._

 _..._ at least he doesn't have to pretend that he even likes them from now on...

 _I said I was Content..._ HAAAA.

Annoyed and upset... Mon-El sat sulking on the balcony... joined by a tomb raider clad Luthor... Looking all 'fantasy adventure' in her new boots and blackened uniform. Bumping his shoulder Lena smiled "Hey ex-fiancé..."

Grinning "Hey partner..."

"What's wrong? Is your mother back again? Do I need to go mix up a batch of Lead like I did with the Kryptonite to make things more interesting?"

Mon-El retorted "No... no more than yours, she's gone for good, thank the gods..."

Lena raised an eyebrow...

Sighing "I finished it with Imra..."

Recognition filled Lena as she nodded relaxing and rubbing his shoulder... only to drift down to his bicep and sigh...

* * *

Back in the nearby Motel 6 Kara was yanking at Reign as Alex humped her leg...

Scrambling "ah-uh-Al-aaa-arr-get-off- ALEXANDRIA DANVERS IF YOU DON'T COME WITH ME RIGHT NOW!"

Reign turned her head twisting clockwise like an evil soul sucking paragon without a spine...

"This human Is MINE, if you take her I will have to dispense my justice on you.."

Kara gulped.

Claws coming out she backed away... feeling her own hormones calling... needing _a little help..._ getting to Alex because there's no way she has enough strength to get past a motivated and avidly horny Reign... and there's only so long she's gonna put up with a finger blocking Supergirl and Kara didn't quite _feel_ like falling from a great height and getting her ass kicked _twice..._

Deciding instead to zoom her way to the DEO, keeping tabs on Alex with her Alien ears... _cause I'm Spockkk._ She landed with a ' _pfwip_ ' in front of a snogging Lena and Mon-El...

Stood in surprise, looking at them knowing that if she was a boy her penis would rise... she licked her lips... as _something_ curdled in the pit of her lowers... with a forceful expression she shook herself from her impure thoughts only to ask "I thought you were with Imra?!"

Back on the Legion ship all that could be heard was ... "Brainy hurry up!" "Uhh"

..."Do not rushhh me, I have calculated with a 96.44 percent certainty that if I lick in the opposite direction it will be pleasurable."

In the medical bay.. interrupted Winn lay helpless as he watched the man who'd just held him gently while he _thoroughly_ cum... and his ex lover _Pam_ who was jealous and threatening to staple each of their members shut with DEO stationary as they hovered squaring up... like their own _human_ version of the Dakkam Ur... _Rheas got nothing on Pam._

* * *

Whilst all of this ruckus was going on Leslie Willis aka Livewire was sat munching on popcorn... zapping the odd agent in the buttocks for fun... swinging on her chair as Supergirl... in her frilly skirt.. a smokin' hot angelina jolie rip off and _cosplay..._ Supergirls awkward love triangled ex-boyfriend came walking up...

Following them with wide eyes, she got up joining them hurriedly from behind "Hey guys.. is it me or is shit gettin' pre-tty _wild... in here?"_

Looking to her.. the three singsonged "I don't know what you mean..."

At that Livewire stopped incredulously taking another look around...

At least ten agents were in fisty cuffs... red lights were blinking... alarms were shouting... there was a _teeny weenie_ fire that had broken out, on the table in Winns Lab... and at least _half of the Prisoners_ were mating in the middle of the entryway... _turns out some do have tentacles._ "Really?!"

The three nodded and Livewire shrugged grinning "... if this is an average day ... hell' then count me in... turns out you guys are wayyyy cooler than I originally thought..."


	2. Chapter 2

Back on the Legion Cruiser Mon-El huffed as they approached the future-esque bed chambers all solely focused on searching for the other two main Legion Members... Kara in a hurry entered _swiftly.._ ignoring his grunts claiming she should _be careful- y'know as to what she saw,_ that only lead to some disastrous consequences as Kara yelped chirping " _ughhh_ GROSS!"

Zooming backwards- back through a self sustaining door, into the hall and clunking against white shiny walls... her head cocked still wide eyed and staring... she lamented...

Squealing... every second word coming out a different octave "WAS THAT A BLUE FLOPPY DISK?!"

Leslie pounced "Hot _dang._.. I love a good _shocker!_ "

Tumbling out of the room haphazardly in one arrogant puff... brainy was zipping his pants up.. as various wires fell down around his ankles- ranting "DOES THIS CENTURY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PRIVACY?!

Walking away past the mob of now giggling superbuddies' he shouted at them in response... "LEARN TO USE A DOOR HANDLE!"

Looking between the walking robot and the room... Kara never once understood.. confused "...But... But there isn't one?!"

Exasperated that was the end to Brainiac-5 "I WAS ATTEMPTING TO USE A STATEMENT YOU'D UNDERSTAND!" the sentient super computer started to frazzle... freezing, overheating he stood beeping...

Thats when Leslie walked over curious and amused to fuck- flicking the tin can and mentioning... "sooo he's _fried..._ look's like releasing all of that data inside cosplay's wife here was too heavy for his system to handle guys..."

Lena smirked muttering "I think that may have been all of Kara's doing.. she can be a little oblivious and unassuming sometimes."

Looking to her best friend the Kryptonian scowled wondering why she was getting all of the blame for killing the Legionairre this time, sad and _dopey_ "Heyyy noooot my fault! ... and- and uh I-I know uh ... _things!_ "

Leslie mumbled cheekily thinking out loud, quickly and on her feet... fingers lighting up " _Sure Supes..._ Maybe I should give him a jolt... that might reboot this einstein?"

Mon-El stood thinking rubbing his jaw... grabbing onto her arm getting her to stop "Ummm no, _sprock!_ that'd just destroy his circuits..." Realising head turning "..maybe Lena could open him up and try her best to wake him up?"

Unbothered Miss Luthor shrugged "Sure why not... _anything for my prince charming..."_ she flirtedsauntering forward and grabbing hold of an errand sack truck... loading Braniac-5 onto it without much help at all -wheeling him off...

Now stood at the broken Kryptionian sized door frame, the other three just stared at it... pensively... Supergirl flicking an errand wire that was stuck to her boot.

Asking... worriedly "You think Imra's in there?!"

Snarky Leslie retorted "Don't you already know? ... I mean you were the one that came flying outta there right?!"

Kara gaped shaking her shoulders face betraying her lack of confidence... her eyes morphed into a haunted black horror show... hand clutching the side of her jawbone, head subtly shaking she whispered "I was too.. _distracted... and afraid."_

 _Shivering_ Kara shook herself again dramatically like a wet dog... knowing that those images will never ever leave her... _i'll never be able to touch a keyboard the same way again._

 _And so_... all three... the Daxam boy... a slightly self righteous god... and a metahuman... all braced to take a look and go on in...

* * *

Back at the nearby Motel 6... Reign was running a hot bubble bath for her new pet human...

Seductively enamoured... Alex came up from behind as Reigny was dabbing her fingers in the water lightly checking the temperature... _turns out she can be quite the softy when you get on her list of_ people that _will not die._

Smoothing two hands over the sleek dense costume on the world killers waist- the red haired agent mumbled saucily into the Kryptonians shoulder... "does this thing come off?" Fingers tugging at the elastic netting and thick leather Reign lost herself to the swirl of a decadent tongue against her earlobe... _she'd never been touched so sensually before._

Growling like a black panther... she swooped Alexandra up... superspeed stripping her and plopping her into the water with a ghastly splash... shouting "MINE."

Leading to Agent Danvers quivering with a wavering " _Fuck!"_

* * *

In the DEO as the fake -totally unqualified Dakkam Ur commenced ... James was taking a beating... _since when did Pam learn taekwondo?!_

The tech dork wincing at... Olsens stray whines...

 _... And those stationary supplies... sheesh... J'onns gunna' be wondering were all those pencils went and why they're sticking out of Guardians ears!_

Shutting up and locking down his running commentary... Winn decided to _move_ when he spotted his true love was actually a _damsel in distress._.. speed freaking all the way to the weapons locker... as James took a second hit to the lower quadrant... _i better hurry up or i'll never feel him take me inside my buttocks._

He whipped out his latest project... unlocking the box... clicking the button as it _'Phwoomed' to life..._ Glowing and making Winn's toes curl in nerdtastic heaven...

"... _I can't believe I finally get to use it... yussss! I told j'onn this wasn't a waste of DEO taxes!"_

And he was totally right.


End file.
